003 - The Era of Healing

I had planned on putting together a little update video while on my trip to New York City this week but decided to write a few thoughts down beforehand. There may very well be a vlog or two coming in the next week so be sure to watch this page and our socials for that link. Many of you may know that last summer I had lost my Dad to stage four cancer, had a surgery to remove a non-cancerous mass, and then in November was involved in a serious car accident. Long live Sable the Toyota RAV4 - you were very good to us. And that got me thinking about how healing this past year was and I am grateful to report that I have made it on the other side of that very much with my heart and soul intact. I am not going to lie and say it was easy. Grieving is hard. I had to fight a lot of demons in my head many times and as a result had to make some tough decisions that would change the trajectory of my late 30’s for sure. But I want you to know that having hope is possible and if you keep your eyes on fixed on the road ahead. You’ll conquer anything that comes your way. 

I’ve been having a blast with film photography this past year as an ambassador for Photo Lounge (you may have seen me post about them on my socials) and have been thinking of ways to have fun with film again. Having many film rolls in my bag and a film camera on me at all times have been vital to my creativity. As you may have also noticed I did take a step back this season on live music photography and just generally anything kismet + co related. I think the grief, burnout and overall *gestures at world* made me feel like I needed to take a step back and refocus on just what I want to bring to this brand (and the world at large). So film photography is giving me the chance to do that and challenging myself to document my creative process, in whatever format that may look, along the way. (Run on sentences, hello.) I can’t wait to share the next few ideas and plans with you all. It’ll be a tearjerker for me, for sure. 

In addition to my production gig downtown, I have added working nights at The Fillmore in the Fishtown area to my daily calendar and I must say it has been quite the adventure. I have gotten a chance to work the late night club themed shows, to the private catering gigs that involve tons of food and meeting all sorts of people. It has never been a dull moment. Having a good crew to work with also lifts my mood up quite a bit as I have noticed that my mind wanders into the what-ifs and the could-be’s of the many decisions and conversations I have had. In the past few weeks I have also seen former coworkers, old friends from my early beginnings as a music industry person and friends who I have grown up with. I even have seen Chris Jericho live and in person too. Seeing that show live made my partner very happy. All in all, I am happy to report that it has been a great experience working there and I cannot wait to see what 2025 has in store for us all. 

Other happy items to note.

I got a chance to watch two new movies this week: Wicked and Gladiator II and they were both sooooo good. I have been a huge fan of the Wizard of Oz and then seeing Wicked on Broadway and reading the books ages ago definitely got my excited for the theatrical release. I couldn’t wait for the general release day so I watched it a day earlier. I had a training to do that morning, then some errands and finally it was time to go and see Wicked. It did not disappoint. I will have to say after seeing some discourse on the movie. I will say this. You will enjoy it even if you haven’t seen the Broadway show. Everyone deserves a chance to…see it. (I’ve been singing Defying Gravity all week.) There were moments of pure bliss, swooning (hello Jonathan Bailey and Jeff Goldblum) and jaw dropping moments. You may have heard that there is a Part Two coming next year and yes, I believe it is like Act II in the play adaptation. 

Then a couple of days ago, my friend Sid invited me to see Gladiator II to with her because Pedro Pascal is *chefs kiss* magic on the silver screen. I went in with every intention to watch the first one again because it had been a long time since I saw the first one. But was happy to report that I had enjoyed it regardless of seeing the first one beforehand. (I will be watching it after I devour turkey and mashed potatoes later this week.) I had gotten choked up a few times in the movie and I did not realize or even pick up on why but it made me think of my Dad in a way. In fact both movies made me think of Dad. And I think that in his divinely loving way – that was his sign to me that things were in fact going to be ok. I have been mulling over the many things that I could have done or should have done better. And wondering if any of it made any sense or was worth pursuing. I have been hearing a plethora of comments like “that’s not a real job, you can’t make a living out of that” and “when are you ever going to get your head out of the clouds”. And then watching these movies, plus having an actual vacation (albeit a short one) coming up had resolved my stance on how my life is going. 

I have been in a constant wave of grief and panic over the last few months and little by little that wave has slowly calmed to the point that soon. It’ll be nothing but a mere ripple in the vast ocean of my life. I have been sitting down at my computer the last few months pouring into a business plan, researching industry trends and just seeing where the next day will lead me. I have a couple more things in the pipeline for 2024 and then it’s off to celebrate the holidays and have our traditional drinks and cheers to a new year with our 10 year-old cat Hunter. I’ll be off to London in the first week of January and have many plans for that. When we are back – there will be plenty of new stuff in store for the masses. I am so happy that I have people in my corner who are constantly thinking of me, and consistently showing up for me even when I feel like I don’t want to show up for myself. Because that is the hard part of this entire thing. Showing up for yourself and giving yourself the grace to just breathe. It can be for a moment. Or a few days. Whatever that self care and breathing looks like for you. Just do it. 

I am off to get myself ready for New York and this week of gratitude and family time. I can’t wait to share more of New York with you all and for the next few weeks of looking back on 2024 and getting ready for the future that is the 2025 season ahead. I’ll leave you with this Sesame Street video that I have been replaying in my head (and on my phone) for the last two weeks. It features my favorite Spider-Man (sorry Tom Holland, I love you too) Andrew Garfield. You should watch his other videos where he talks about grief, and the love he has for his Mum. It has helped me tremendously while grieving over my Dad and a lot of other things. Do take care of yourself.